I believe it is time for another update on how the kids are doing. I feel like the last few blog posts have been quite negative (well I don't feel like they were, i know they were). So now that things are getting under control, and I'm not completely sleep deprived, I think an update is a must.
Being a mom of two has not come easy for me. I kept telling myself it could be worse, and I'm blessed to have two healthy kids. I couldn't get that to change my attitude though. There are days that I just made sure their needs were met. I could hardly smile and the only emotions I felt were sadness and anger. It's hard to have a positive outlook on life when the most sleep you get for 2 1/2 months is a broken 3-4 hours a night and then you deal with crying all day. It's very draining, and your patience is very thin, it's amazing what no sleep does to someone (and i'm ashamed that it got the best of me). I'm working past that, and now I feel happiness again - and thank goodness it's taking over the other two emotions. I don't want to jinx myself, but Parker is now sleeping amazing at night. I feed him at 7:15, and he's down by 8. He doesn't wake up again to eat until sometime between 3-4 usually (one night he even made it until 5). I'm able to feed him, and put him right back down. I'm usually back in bed in 20 minutes (now to only train my body to sleep at night again, but that'll come). It was pretty much the worst 2 1/2 months of my life, but we figured it out. And we are ALL happier because of it.
I've started keeping a baby journal. I felt it was really important for me to watch for the things that I love about my kids. Watch for the things that make me smile and love being a mom. I've been trying to write in it a little bit every day to remind myself that my kids are a blessing, and that being a mom is such a wonderful gift. I've got two of the cutest little boys in the world who keep me smiling and laughing. I love the way Parker looks at me and smiles, and I love the way Colby communicates with us and plays with his toys. I love that he is always trying his best to be a good boy, he hates when he see's someone sad. He never wants to upset us. I'm enjoying every moment I have with them while they are young and want me around :)
Oh Tara, I'm so glad that things are looking up! It is so very hard to have a positive attitude while getting no sleep. The no sleep thing really does take over your body. What a great idea about a little baby journal, you will cherish that forever I'm sure! And I actually think it's great to have the bad months written down on your blog so you can look back at it and see how far things have come in a few months or even now. :) Miss you! And here's an idea, next time you are in Portland we should get together. . .we are in Pendleton. Only like 4 or 5 hours away right?? ;)
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