A new perspective

I believe it is time for another update on how the kids are doing.  I feel like the last few blog posts have been quite negative (well I don't feel like they were, i know they were). So now that things are getting under control, and I'm not completely sleep deprived, I think an update is a must.

Being a mom of two has not come easy for me.  I kept telling myself it could be worse, and I'm blessed to have two healthy kids.  I couldn't get that to change my attitude though.  There are days that I just made sure their needs were met. I could hardly smile and the only emotions I felt were sadness and anger.  It's hard to have a positive outlook on life when the most sleep you get for 2 1/2 months is a broken 3-4 hours a night and then you deal with crying all day.  It's very draining, and your patience is very thin, it's amazing what no sleep does to someone (and i'm ashamed that it got the best of me). I'm working past that, and now I feel happiness again - and thank goodness it's taking over the other two emotions.  I don't want to jinx myself, but Parker is now sleeping amazing at night.  I feed him at 7:15, and he's down by 8.  He doesn't wake up again to eat until sometime between 3-4 usually (one night he even made it until 5). I'm able to feed him, and put him right back down.  I'm usually back in bed in 20 minutes (now to only train my body to sleep at night again, but that'll come).  It was pretty much the worst 2 1/2 months of my life, but we figured it out. And we are ALL happier because of it.

I've started keeping a baby journal.  I felt it was really important for me to watch for the things that I love about my kids.  Watch for the things that make me smile and love being a mom.  I've been trying to write in it a little bit every day to remind myself that my kids are a blessing, and that being a mom is such a wonderful gift. I've got two of the cutest little boys in the world who keep me smiling and laughing.  I love the way Parker looks at me and smiles, and I love the way Colby communicates with us and plays with his toys.  I love that he is always trying his best to be a good boy, he hates when he see's someone sad. He never wants to upset us.  I'm enjoying every moment I have with them while they are young and want me around :)

Kids are my life

So after walking out of the doctors office less than a week ago because they tried to tell me they dont take our insurance, I spent the rest of the afternoon calling every doctor in bakersfield and the only people that did take my insurance were on the east side of town. Not only did i not want to go over there by myself, but i knew this doctors office took my insurance. So i sucked up my pride and called and set an appointment AGAIN. We got things worked out and it went a lot smoother this time.  We are still going to change our insurance next month so we don't have to deal with this doctors office anymore.

2 month stats:
21 1/4 inches long
weighs 9 lbs 5.9 oz

He's gaining weight slowly, in the 5th percentile.  I could tell the doctor wanted me to supplement again, but I might try to squeeze in another feeding instead since last time the formula made him throw up all the time.  Colby was the same way, very slow at gaining weight, so we aren't too concerned. He also has torticollis (his neck muscles are tight on one side) so we need to work on stretching that out and strengthening the other side. Hopefully all goes well!

I still can't believe Parker is TWO MONTHS OLD!!! How crazy is that?! And i can't believe it's been 2 months since i've slept!!  it almost feels like an achievement and that i should be receiving some time of award or something. I can usually use lack of sleep to get myself a back rub from a concerned hubby (he's afraid i might snap at any moment).  You know how you go through trials and those trials help make you stronger for other trials? Lets just say I'm terrified for what baby #3 will bring (no i'm not expecting, pretty sure i'm going to have to become normal again before i can even bring up THINKING about having another child to Andrew)


Here's a typical night:

• Put Colby down at 8
• Feed/bathe Parker shortly after (usually around 8:15ish)
• Rock him and have him finally in bed around 9:00-9:15
• Then I get a blissful 45 minutes before I need to go to sleep (around 10:00)
• Parker starts fussing around 2:00, but he makes it until about 3:00 before he really wants fed (so I lay in bed listening to him)
• Feed Parker at 3:00 (then burp, and walk with him upright for about 20-30 minute so he doesn't spit up his food and read a bit)
• Lay there in bed reading for a few minutes to make sure he goes to sleep
• Parker sleeps for about 45 minutes before he starts fussing from pain
• burp/hold/bounce and sometimes sleep until around 6:00 and sometimes read
• Feed at 6:00 (by now it's light out and more difficult for him to go to sleep)
• give him the paci to try and get him to go back to sleep for 2 more hours (he doesn't keep it in, so I lay there and put it in every few minutes and usually read)

So I don't know if you picked up on it...but basically my only time to sleep is until 2:00 and I read A LOT! and then I'm dealing with an incredibly gassy/uncomfortable baby the rest of the night. Once a week or so when I've reached my limit, I get Andrew up to help me so I can get another hour or so of sleep.  I'm a walking zombie these days. I've come to the understanding that I just have fussy babies. With lots of prayers, i'm able to handle that fact. Sometimes I just catch myself staring at my kids and I'm amazed at the blessings they are.  These 2 kids completely rely on me. Heavenly Father sent them into our home and I'm truly greatful and humbled by that. It's hard sometimes, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love the little things they do that make me laugh. They light up my life.

Parkers Blessing Weekend

This past weekend was Parkers blessing.  We blessed him in our home Saturday morning. All my family was able to be here (Dan, Britt, Kami, Jason, Francisca, Lea, my mom and my dad) and Andrews parents were able to make it down too.  We had a full house, but we had such a good time with family around.  Andrew gave a beautiful blessing and were were able to spend the rest of the weekend by the pool (which helped us manage the 100 degree weather).

Oregon

Going back to Oregon was probably the best thing for my little family.  We were there a little over a week and it was such a stress relief.  Parker began sleeping at night (YAY).  I was actually able to feed him, and put him back down.  Yes i still had to try and burp him a couple times, but i didn't have to walk around with him for an hour.  I even put him in his own room, but it was right on the other side of the wall so i still heard him, but didn't wake up for every sound.  I'm now getting about 5 hours or so of sleep a night and I'm SO much happier. He's even sleeping for a 6-7 hour stretch of time (which happens to be from 8-2 because if i wake him up at 11 to eat, he still wakes at 2...bummer).

While we were in Oregon we visited the Portland Zoo.  I haven't been there in SO long, it's so pretty! Colby enjoyed it a lot more than I thought, but i think he enjoyed the freedom he got more than actually seeing the animals.  His favorite animals were the hippo, the giraffe, the ducks, the elephant, and the monkeys. his favorite THINGS were the water puddles, the stairs, and a bird that landed next to him.

Colby also learned some colors over the week.  Before this last week the only color he knew was pink (slightly embarrassing) but he's picked up on yellow, orange, and green, and sometimes blue. He also knows how to count to 10 pretty well (with encouragement, if i say a number he usually knows what comes next), and when i ask him "what's rock hard?" he hits his abs. I love teaching him new things :)

Back to Oregon though...we didn't do too much, but it was so nice to just relax and have more time.  We made it to the park a couple times, went out to dinner, and just played outside.  My parents were a great help with the two so that I was able to get some much needed freedom.

 Parkers favorite spot - right next to papa

Swinging is always a good time

first bath together

finding ways to entertain him outside 

Couldn't get Colby to give me a smile, so this is what i got

My parents came back with me to Bakersfield since we are blessing Parker on Saturday.  You know those stupid people who hold up traffic on the freeway? well that was us. My backpack was not secured in the back of the truck, so within a few minutes of getting on the freeway the tragedy happened, my bag fell out while in the fast lane.  We pull over to the left, and while backing up (yes, backing up on the freeway) i'm trying to think of everything i have in that bag.  Diapers, wipes, some sandwiches and snacks.  I'm in the clear! nothing worthwhile. And then it dawns on me that perhaps i have a few valuables... my phone, my cheaper camera...not too bad, and then i remember...MY IPAD!!! We HAVE to get it back!!! We see my bag there between the middle and far left lane. My dad gets out of the truck, my mom starts hysterically praying, and I watch my bag as cars dodge it. 2 lanes of traffic stops for my dad to rescue my Ipad.  My phone was in the side pocket, so that was definitely gone. I open up my bag to find all the crackers are now crumbs, the sandwiches completely flat...and there's my Ipad. I pull it out, open it up, and the screens lights up beautifully. Unbelievable. It survived getting ran over by cars. I'm so incredibly blessed that I did not have to break that news to Andrew.