Before i really get into what happened, i feel i should say that i know my emotions on this issue were completely irrational and out of control. I'm embarrassed about how emotional i was about this issue. With that being said, this post is all about colby's Bear.
I had decided that i wanted to be a good mom and take my kids to the park. There is a park about a mile down the road, so on that friday morning i loaded my kids in the stroller and ran to the park. Colby doesn't go anywhere without his bear, so i didn't think anything of it when bear came along for the ride. While at the park colby was pulling bear out of the stroller and taking him with him around everywhere, the sand pit, the slide, and the swings. I thought i was keeping my eye out for that guy, colby would be a wreck if he was left behind. well the time came for us to leave. The last i remember seeing bear, colby was pushing him on the swing, and then grabbed him and took him somewhere (i had assumed the stroller but i wasn't quite sure). I put colby in the stroller, and then i put parker in, kinda looked around and left for my mile run home. we got home and i turned on cartoons for colby, put parker to sleep and then jumped in the shower. soon colby comes in asking for bear. IMMEDIATELY i'm thinking "shoot we left him at the park". i frantically looked around the house and couldn't find him ANYWHERE. by this time parker was about to wake up, so i grabbed him and colby as fast as i could and strapped the back into the stroller and ran to the park again. we looked around but couldn't find bear. we were only gone for 2 hours and he was already missing! i was FREAKING out! So, I ran another mile back home. (by the way, i should mention that the reason i'm RUNNING back to the park is because andrew took my car to work that day with the carseats in them. what luck!). so the whole way back to the park i'm trying to prepare colby that we may never see bear again. i was telling him he was lost, and we can buy him a new one. he just kept agreeing with me, so i don't think he quite understood what i was saying. meanwhile i'm fighting back tears! i mean, this is Bear! He's been in our life since colby was born, this bear has been EVERYWHERE with us. he's like...part of the family! Colby amazingly goes to sleep without bear. and that afternoon after naps i ran back to the park again and waited for an hour and a half hoping someone would come up to me with bear. didn't happen. so i ran home. That night i begin crying like a baby! i know how much colby loves bear, and it was killing me that i couldn't do anything to make this better! On saturday we went to build-a-bear and got him a new bear. it was working! he loves Koda! but every once in a while he would mention that he wants his brown bear, and i'd start bawling again. i struggled sleeping (i struggle anyway, but with bear missing thats all i would think about when i woke in the middle of the night and i'd start panicking.) i even put posters up at the park. yes, it's completely ridiculous! i know this! but i mean, if someone saw that we left bear and grabbed him, then they needed a way to get ahold of us right? i had someone prank me which led me going to the park for 45 minutes waiting for someone to come up to me with bear, never happened. i finally lost hope, i was trying to come to terms with the fact that we will never see Bear again, and i was just hoping that soon colby would stop asking about him and we would all move on. we would just be left with the memories and the many many pictures.
and then, one day a miracle happened. I never gave up looking, when i had a chance i'd continue to look around the house in the same places i had looked 20 times before, but my closet kept sticking out to me. i searched my closet more than any other place, but couldn't find him. then i decided, this is it, i'm going to tear that closet apart so i know for a fact he's not in there and i can move on. well within two seconds, i find bear! i was looking through my shirts one by one and after the 5th one bear falls out! colby shoved him between the shirts and just forgot he was there! oh my goodness i couldn't be happier! i ran and showed colby and he was so excited! and now, bear continues to go everywhere with us, and koda isn't too far behind.
